Photographs and thoughts from the past few months

Well, we promised we would post pics of MacK a blog or so ago, so here are a few of my favourite photographs of MacK and the rest of the family from the last couple of months. The pic above is of MacK with one of his snow girlfriends, back in August!

On that same trip, Phyl completed my jumper. She knitted an awesome skull and crossbones jumper that I can't possibly wear in Townsville. Fortunately we won't be living here for much longer (another couple of weeks now!) so I will have opportunities to wear it. While out one day in Canberra, I saw a small version, at Big W and just couldn't resist!

Me and MacK - getting our pirate on!!

Thank you Phyl - just too talented.

In August, we were lucky enough to get together for a family party on the Gold Coast. This is one of my favourite photographs of Dad, Tyson and I.

And this is my beautiful, glamourous wife! Don't you think she looks stunning? 

As big as we think MacK is (and he is when put next to his peers), every now and again he will put something of mine on, and bring it all back into perspective.

In November, we had the first of our Christmases for 2012. Jane's family always celebrate in November, tying in with the Snowy River Trout Festival. Dave comes down from Darwin, and we make sure that at least Jane is able to get there. This year we were all there, and had a lot of fun. We had a really simple lunch, with slow cooked beef, hot smoked trout and BBQ butterfly lamb. Good food, wine and company. Our Canberra Christmas was held on Remembrance Day. Peter and Phyl have poppies galore in their garden, and MacK was proud to wear one. We look forward to taking some of the seed to the farm, and seeing the poppies come up each year.

 

MacK with his poppy, and Jane at the park.

Melissa, MacK, Jane and I at lunch

We had a lot of fun in the parks around Kambah, with MacK particularly enjoying the swings. He was regularly going to sleep in the swing, and would roll up in bed saying "park, fun, swing, fun". We enjoyed this slide too, but the first time MacK went down himself he spun out, and ended up going down sideways with limbs everywhere but in the slide. Holding hands was a MUCH safer way to go!

Not so long ago, MacK was petrified of the vacuum cleaner. These days he loves to help out around the house. He stands up at the bench and rolls meatballs, has shaped his first loaf of bread, and loves to mop, sweep and vacuum. He is a very housetrained kid!

Whilst in Canberra, he added another string to his bow, insisting on watering all the plants, and "doing gardening". 

He had great fun checking out the water feature in the garden. He loves to play in any water, and we occasionally walk around the local suburbs counting sprinklers!

That's all for now. We will try to keep up the blog over the next couple of weeks, although our schedule is simply ridiculous. We only have a couple of weeks before the movers come to pack the house, and then we will be driving away from Townsville for the last time. Heading south, closer to family is going to be a fantastic thing. For those we don't get a chance to talk to, have a great Christmas, and we look forward to spending time with you as soon as possible.

A most important thing!

Last Saturday, Jane and I attended a cocktail party at the invitation of the Commander of the 3rd Brigade in Townsville. He is an Ambassador for White Ribbon Day in Townsville, and hosted an event to mark the launch of the event in Townsville. If you don't know anything about White Ribbon, please take a moment to look at their website, at www.whiteribbon.org.au to find out. Essentially, it is a movement that recognises that violence against women is a male problem, and that males have to take the lead on solving the problem in our society.

An ice carving, representing the White Ribbon logo was the centrepiece for the function

In the presentation we had, the statistics truly astounded us. Queensland does not have a proud record when it comes to violence against women. One in three women will have experienced some form of violence before they are fifteen, and one in four after that time. The violence may take physical, emotional, verbal or financial forms and a majority happens in domestic situations.

Police are reluctant to use their resources in cases of domestic violence, as they know that in the majority of cases women will return to abusive partners. Whilst those of us on the outside cannot understand why they would do that, the women typically love the partner, but just wish that the violence would stop. They typically think that by agreeing to go back that the behaviours will stop. Generally it does - for a brief period; and then the abusive behaviours begin again. The males are typically very seductive, and do what they do out of a sense of power.

There are two typical reactions that people take. The first is that of silent disapproval. Friends, families and acquaintances are aware of what is happening, and essentially do nothing. The behaviours are reinforced, and the position of the woman and her family is continually undermined. The second response is to take the male outside for a bit of 'dead ground counselling' - or beating the **%& out of them. This also does not work, as the female typically sides with the male, who then takes it out on the woman.

The key element is that this is about power. The presentation we had was very strong and direct, and stressed that there is a third option. We all need to stand up and be counted - and to refuse to allow cowards to continue to satisfy their own perverse urges for power through the abuse of our women. If you know someone who is perpetrating any kind of violence against women, be it physical, verbal, emotional or financial, then the onus is on you to take action. You need to confront the male with their cowardice. In the words of the presenter (and apologies if you are upset by strong language), these males are nothing but gutless fucking cowards, and need to be told so. 

The only way that behaviours can be changed is if they are challenged. Silent disapproval does nothing but isolate the victims. Belting the perpetrator negatively affects the victims, as the perpetrator needs to reconfirm his power base and will only increase abusive behaviours. Challenge the coward. Call him out in front of society for what he is - a coward.

One in thirty three is not acceptable, let alone one in three. For the sake of our women, and the children who are exposed to this violence through no fault of their own; take the pledge. Visit the White ribbon website, and share its information widely.

And do not sit in silence. Please.

i swear

never to commit, excuse

or remain silent about

violence against women

this is my oath

Jane and I, both very happy to take the oath.

Our wee Lad!

Having spent thirteen weeks away from home, the changes in MacK are very obvious, and really rather impressive. I know that I, along with every other Dad think that their child is a prodigy, and the most prodigious at that. So please feel free to measure MacK’s progress against your own experiences – just don’t spoil my illusions!

He is a big lad – 75^th percentile for height and head circumference, but off the charts in weight. His hands and feet are Labrador in nature, and we can only assume that at some stage he will grow into them.

He has a huge amount of words, and is now parroting Jane and I. So last week we had an ‘oh crap’, and ‘shit’. Just lucky that we didn’t have a ‘@$%& **&^%...’ as well, so we are counting our blessings. He is starting to put sentences together, and has a fine level of visual comprehension. Jane watched an episode of West Wing with MacK commentating. He pointed at objects on the screen, and clearly told Jane what they were. Most of his words are really clear, but he does have one unique word – “GUP!” I hadn’t been home long, and was lying on the floor playing with MacK, when he pointed at me and called “GUP”. He repeated it, and when I didn’t move, he threw a ball at me (perfect shot – pegged me in the head). It turns out that “GUP” is MacK-shorthand for “Get up”, or “Get up you lazy sod”, depending on how forceful his delivery is. Jane couldn’t help herself, and collapsed into paroxysms of laughter.

When you sneeze, he immediately responds with “Bless you”, and he is getting better at asking with a please (or ‘pease’). He is very forceful in his opinions too. When he wants you to stop doing something, it is very clear – including the outstretched hand, with palm out.

He still loves to read, and is now finishing some of the sentences in his favourite books. He knows what he wants to read, and will ask for the books by name. As far as counting goes, he is starting to get the gist of things, with his favourite numbers being 2 and 5.

He is going to be particular about language too, we think. I wish we could remember the exact circumstance, but a couple of days ago, MacK corrected Jane in something she had said. Jane’s response was to tell him he was a pedant, just like his father and grandfather!

He loves to help in the kitchen. He will regularly stand beside me and stir a pot with me, and today spooned sugar onto everyone’s porridge. He didn’t sprinkle it, just dumped a spoon of sugar in the middle of the bowl – but it’s a start. The other day I was cutting onions and garlic for dinner when he pointed at the garlic and asked what it was. I told him, and he picked up the clove, and bit it in half. The look on his face was priceless, but a little curiosity goes a long way!

It reminds me of a story from my distant youth, that I am sure my mother would vehemently deny, regarding tomato relish. I have two memories of summer relish making as a child. The first is making a double batch with Dad, and later discovering that we had quadrupled the salt in the recipe. For a lot of effort, it was sad to have to throw it away. It was just inedible. The other story is from a time I was ‘helping’ Mum to make a batch of relish, and I asked her what cayenne pepper tasted like. She told me to try it, so I dipped my finger in the jar and licked it clean. I don’t remember what happened immediately after, probably because the top of my head blew off and into a million pieces. I just hope I didn’t rub that finger into my eyes.

As I write this we have another six weeks in the tropics before we move south towards Brisbane. We are looking forward to the drop in temperature and humidity, and the proximity to family, beaches, good food and live entertainment.

The next post will have an updated set of photographs - Promise!