A most important thing!

Last Saturday, Jane and I attended a cocktail party at the invitation of the Commander of the 3rd Brigade in Townsville. He is an Ambassador for White Ribbon Day in Townsville, and hosted an event to mark the launch of the event in Townsville. If you don't know anything about White Ribbon, please take a moment to look at their website, at www.whiteribbon.org.au to find out. Essentially, it is a movement that recognises that violence against women is a male problem, and that males have to take the lead on solving the problem in our society.

An ice carving, representing the White Ribbon logo was the centrepiece for the function

In the presentation we had, the statistics truly astounded us. Queensland does not have a proud record when it comes to violence against women. One in three women will have experienced some form of violence before they are fifteen, and one in four after that time. The violence may take physical, emotional, verbal or financial forms and a majority happens in domestic situations.

Police are reluctant to use their resources in cases of domestic violence, as they know that in the majority of cases women will return to abusive partners. Whilst those of us on the outside cannot understand why they would do that, the women typically love the partner, but just wish that the violence would stop. They typically think that by agreeing to go back that the behaviours will stop. Generally it does - for a brief period; and then the abusive behaviours begin again. The males are typically very seductive, and do what they do out of a sense of power.

There are two typical reactions that people take. The first is that of silent disapproval. Friends, families and acquaintances are aware of what is happening, and essentially do nothing. The behaviours are reinforced, and the position of the woman and her family is continually undermined. The second response is to take the male outside for a bit of 'dead ground counselling' - or beating the **%& out of them. This also does not work, as the female typically sides with the male, who then takes it out on the woman.

The key element is that this is about power. The presentation we had was very strong and direct, and stressed that there is a third option. We all need to stand up and be counted - and to refuse to allow cowards to continue to satisfy their own perverse urges for power through the abuse of our women. If you know someone who is perpetrating any kind of violence against women, be it physical, verbal, emotional or financial, then the onus is on you to take action. You need to confront the male with their cowardice. In the words of the presenter (and apologies if you are upset by strong language), these males are nothing but gutless fucking cowards, and need to be told so. 

The only way that behaviours can be changed is if they are challenged. Silent disapproval does nothing but isolate the victims. Belting the perpetrator negatively affects the victims, as the perpetrator needs to reconfirm his power base and will only increase abusive behaviours. Challenge the coward. Call him out in front of society for what he is - a coward.

One in thirty three is not acceptable, let alone one in three. For the sake of our women, and the children who are exposed to this violence through no fault of their own; take the pledge. Visit the White ribbon website, and share its information widely.

And do not sit in silence. Please.

i swear

never to commit, excuse

or remain silent about

violence against women

this is my oath

Jane and I, both very happy to take the oath.