On being 40…

When I turned thirty I wrote a few observations as to how I saw myself, and my aspirations and plans for the future. I have no idea where it is, but it would be fascinating to see how my perspectives may have changed over the past decade.

In any case, I am going to be a little self indulgent, and record my thoughts on being forty in this forum.

During lunch last week with a friend, we debated the best decade to have lived. He suggested that there was no better time than the 1970s. Whilst I obviously think they were good years, I enjoyed the 90s as a new adult. I do think now though that the best years of life are definitely ahead of me. As much as I enjoyed the PJ years (pre Jane), life now is just so much more complete.

I have developed strong views (me – opinionated?) on environmental and economic sustainability. I am not sure when, but my change seemed to coincide with my enlistment into Army. I have always wanted to live on a farm, but hadn’t given a lot of thought to how I might farm. In line with a kind of collective awareness/awakening, I find myself evermore drawn to concepts such as permaculture, organic farming and natural farming on the land side of the house, and economic sufficiency on the financial side of things.

I can’t understand why more people don’t share my views, but I have to remind myself to stay off my soapbox. No one has an obligation to operate in a more sustainable manner, and cannot be challenged if they choose not to do so. I can’t judge, as to do so potentially robs me of worthwhile human encounters. My friends and colleagues tend to see me as a bit of an oddball; almost eccentric. I am comfortable with that.

I care as much for food as I ever have. My views have changed a little so that my focus is as much on the point of origin and manufacture as it is about the finished product. I want to know that the ingredients are the very best I can source. Ditto with wine and beer. I support artisan and craft producers wherever possible and get a real kick out of farmers markets. One of my biggest food peeves is restaurants who apply a classic name to a dish, but put something completely different on the plate. I enjoy good coffee – generally black.

I am enjoying the work I do, and find I am much more settled than I was during the frenetic twenty/thirty years. I can perhaps best describe it in rugby terms. As I got a little bit older, I started to play a lot smarter. I would no longer rush headlong into each and every contest, but would pick my battles. Those I engaged in I would do so with maximum effort. I find work is a little like that, and that approach certainly helped me through RMC as an older cadet. Taking a break from the kitchen has perversely allowed me to become a much more creative and better cook. I have a greater respect for the magic that happens in a kitchen.

On physical fitness – I may not be quite as fit as I was in my twenties, but I am not far off it. I make a point of exercising every day wherever possible, and take pride in being able to meet and beat the fitness standards prescribed for those fifteen years my junior. I have pretty much given up contact sports, and now enjoy squash, swimming and swinging kettlebell weights. I intend to maintain my fitness through not only this decade, but all of them. My Dad is my inspiration as far as fitness is concerned. At 71 he is still able to walk dozens of kilometres per day swinging a whipper snipper.

I have a couple of hobbies I really enjoy. Food is a pretty obvious one, and my spectrum of interest covers food preservation (including air-dried salami and ham), brewing beer, sourdough bread and cheese. Outside of the kitchen, I enjoy woodworking, and have made a lot of the furniture in our home. Going through school I was never any good at woodwork, but have developed reasonably good skills over time. When I reflect back, I think that I developed a degree of confidence or arrogance that allowed me to establish a veneer of competence (not just in woodwork). Over time that has dissipated – failure will have that effect! I think that now I am in the process of developing competence through reflection. Through knowing what my capabilities actually are, I now enjoy the challenges represented by new crafts and tasks a lot more than in the past.

Family is now my focus. What I do I do for Jane and MacKenzie, and I look forward to giving him a brother or sister to share our life’s journey with (should Jane and I ever spend time in the same town for more than five minutes!). I can watch MacK for hours, and Jane has enriched my life beyond imagining. Our farm in Canowindra will be a family haven. I am looking forward to the hard work, the sense of accomplishment when able to see the fruits of our labours and the change of seasons. In a couple of years, the boards in the cheese cave will be groaning with rounds maturing, the brewery will have bottles of cold pressed cider, Jane’s Grandmother’s ginger beer and a couple of my own recipe brews. The cold larder will have hams swinging in the breeze as they engage in their slow, eighteen-month journey from free range foraging Berkshire pig to glorious prosciutto. I am hoping to have salamis made in both the Italian, Polish and Croatian traditions. I want MacK to be able to find his own understanding of our natural world through his explorations and experiments.

In summary, I still dream big, but I now have a family to share those dreams with. The focus of those dreams has evolved from money to tangible goals that allow me to continue to develop. I may become increasingly eccentric and fussy with food, and I will embrace that change wholeheartedly. I have redeveloped a love of learning (having just finished my first undergraduate degree) and look forward to continual study in both formal and informal avenues into the future. I am concerned with the quality of the world we may leave to our children and grandchildren, and am sometimes bewildered at what I can do to change things. I have to remember to do only what I can do. I hope I am becoming a little more grounded each day.

I still get frustrated when menus have basic spelling mistakes.

Leonard Cohen is my preferred musical artist.

Les Miserables is still the most powerful musical I have ever seen.

I have really enjoyed both Sons of Anarchy and The West Wing.

Bread is my passion. I want to bake bread for other people.

I would like to learn to dance and speak French.

I won’t eat at McDonalds

I don’t like Coke

I love to swim in the ocean, and should do it more often.

I want to visit New Zealand and Europe.

I would like to explore more of Australia.

Oats are my breakfast of choice.

Coffee over tea, water over juice, and cider, beer and wine in equal measure (all over spirits).

This is a little of what makes me tick at forty… See you in ten!